In the run up to publication of my new book Carers and Caring; the One Stop Guide; how to care for older relatives and friends I am sharing an A to Z of some of the practical solutions learned from research and experience. If you think any problems have been missed you can email me and tell me, and I’ll make sure they are covered in the next edition and online on my website at www.juneandrews.net. 

Depression and care of older people

In Chapter Five of Carers and Caring which is about your own health, there is helpful information about why carers like yourself might become depressed and what you can do about it. It is not only the carer who may suffer from depression but also the person they are caring for. Even people whose main diagnosis is dementia may benefit from depression treatment, including medication and talking therapy. You can ask your GP whether medication would improve the person’s mental state. You cannot force anyone to get help if they don’t want it, but if you are registered as a carer and have welfare power of attorney that allows the GP to discuss the person with you. Under other circumstances they can’t because of patient confidentiality. 

Looking after someone who has depression is incredibly hard work and it takes a toll on your own mental health. Share how you feel with other people and be open about it. Be realistic about what you can achieve in helping to make them better. If the older person you care for is depressed and apathetic, it might put pressure on you to do more for them because they don’t have the energy to do things for themselves. Try to get others to support you in encouraging them to continue to do as much as possible. There will be occasions when you feel desperate and miserable and spend more time thinking about their health rather than your own. 

Find positives where you can and make sure to explore all possibilities of taking a break. Find out whether there are any financial supports or benefits that can help you to pay for replacement care, travel costs or respite, and look at Useful Contacts and Resources in the book for details of where these can be found. 

Other support may be found from Samaritans. Whatever you’re going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. Call 116 123 for free. They also offer support by email or letter, or you can keep track of how you are feeling with their self help app.

There is much more about support for carers with depression and supporting a depressed older person in  Carers and Caring: The One-Stop Guide: How to care for older relatives and friends - with tips for managing finances and accessing the right support  available from all good bookshops in May 2022

Three hints:

1.     Your health must come first; you can’t help if you are unwell

2.     Caring for depression requires help

3.     Registering as the carer and getting power of attorney reduces stress