Friends and Carers

In the run up to publication of my new book Carers and Caring; the One Stop Guide; how to care for older relatives and friends I am sharing some of the practical solutions learned from research and experience. If you think any problems have been missed you can email me and tell me, and I’ll make sure they are covered in the next edition and online on my website at www.juneandrews.net. 

F is for Friends

Friendships built up over a long time are like money in your purse. At times you have enough to give away, and at other times you might need to accept some. But for some people, the traditional saying about it being ‘better to give than receive’ has hardened into a notion that they don’t want to be on the receiving end of help from anybody. It’s a matter of pride.

 There can be a problem when friends offer help that you don’t need. They mean well, but they offer to do things that you’d rather do yourself. It is really important to learn how to say, ‘You are so lovely. Thank you for offering to do X. What I really need is someone who could do Y for me. Is there any chance you could do that instead?’ This is twice as hard because you are saying no to an offer and making a demand. Rest assured that a true friend only wants to help, and the clue you give them about what would make a difference is vital for them and for you.

Friends help you maintain health and sanity

Friends are not a luxury. They are a necessity for maintaining your health and sanity. You need friends in order to be happy, and you need to tell them that you need them. Just remember to give them specific jobs. And if you are a friend, remember to ask what is needed. Food is always good.

There is much more about making and keeping friends in  Carers and Caring: The One-Stop Guide: How to care for older relatives and friends - with tips for managing finances and accessing the right support  available from all good bookshops in May 2022

 Three hints:

1.     Friends are a necessity, not a luxury

2.     It is sometimes better to receive than to give

3.     Don’t underestimate the power of a casserole