In the run up to publication of my new book Carers and Caring; the One Stop Guide; how to care for older relatives and friends I am sharing some of the practical solutions learned from research and experience. If you think any problems have been missed you can email me and tell me, and I’ll make sure they are covered in the next edition and online on my website at www.juneandrews.net.  Today C is for Cooking. One older woman I know spends a lot of time thinking of nice things for her darling pup to eat, but persuading her to make something for herself and eat it is an uphill battle for her daughter.

Cooking

The older person you care for may still be able to cook as they always did, but if they are becoming frail, or having problems with hearing and sight, they may need some modifications in the kitchen to make it easier. You can see suggestions in greater detail in the book. This includes ideas for gas cut-off mechanisms for cookers and other safety features to prevent fire, flood and scalding. You may be helping someone with shopping and using the advantages of online shopping to get their groceries delivered. Managing the finances of that with digital banking is easier if you get a shared account (see B for Benefits). 

The real problems start with someone who cannot or will not cook. It may be an issue of skill or of motivation. If someone won’t cook, they may be able to do quite well with cold food. The motivation to eat is what matters. If someone is motivated they will find a way to feed themselves. That can be affected by depression. Older people also lose appetite because of loss of sense of smell and taste, and there is more about this under E for ‘Eating well’ in a following blog.

There are machines that can make cooking easier. If you are supporting an older person who still wants to learn and they’ve not used these gadgets, you can introduce them to the delights of the microwave, slow cooker, a George Foreman-type grill, a soup maker, a microwave grill or a blender. The earlier the better. Introduce one at a time.

Smaller appetites require changes in diet

It is not unusual for an older person to have a small appetite. That means what they do eat absolutely must be packed with nutrients including sugars and fats. Many of us have been on slimming diets, and the advice for helping older people to eat well is the exact opposite of what we would do to lose weight. Make sure that easy-to-consume snacks are visible in the house to tempt them, and that includes high-calorie foods. Unintended weight loss is common in older people. They need to have protein, fat and carbohydrates as well as vitamins in their diet and presenting that combination in small portions is a skill in self. Therefore, pre-prepared meals from supermarkets are great. Because they have the ingredients listed, you can choose small ones which are packed with fat and protein. 

Bad decisions sometimes happen because of a poor understanding of ‘healthy eating’.

I have a healthy breakfast, though; of porridge I make for myself and tea. (Dan, 86)

Porridge is a healthy food. It fills you up and contains roughage, which is good for your gut and especially your bowels. But Dan’s recipe is made of oats and water and his tea is black, because he doesn’t get fresh milk in, so he’s really on a slimming regime. Also, it is sixteen hours between his last meal at 6 p.m. and his breakfast when he gets up at 10 a.m. Over sixteen hours the person becomes ketotic, which means he is breaking down any fat stores he has in his body and, if it goes on long enough, also breaking down the protein in his muscles. So he’s losing weight even if he eats well during the rest of the day. He is accidentally doing the new 16:8 fasting diet. That’s good if he is fat, but Dan is not. The practical tip is to get him to have snacks by his bed to eat when he wakes during the night, and to have a chocolate biscuit or banana before he goes to bed, to break that fasting cycle. Dan’s porridge would be better if he made it with milk and added extra cream, but research shows that the timing of meals is also important.

If the elderly person that you are caring for does not have extensive cooking skills, they can survive very well on food and drink that is simple to prepare.  Ready meals can be bought from the supermarket or an online delivery service, which you can arrange to be delivered on behalf of the person you care for. It is no longer unusual for supermarkets to deliver groceries to a person’s house. If the older person is unable to operate a microwave oven, then you may be able to arrange for carers to come in and heat up a meal for them.

As a carer you may scarcely have time to cook for yourself, but it may be that the person you are looking after can afford to have hot food delivered from a local café or restaurant, such as a tasty fish and chips on Friday or a delicious Chinese takeaway on Saturday night. 

Interaction during meals improves the appetite. If people living alone can go out to a supermarket or café for an affordable lunch, they are much more likely to eat well if they meet someone there. You may be able to arrange for a buddy to go with them at a regular interval. If the person you care for has been in the Armed Forces, there are local veteran organisations all over the country which will make a point of taking old soldiers out for a meal where, as comrades together, they can discuss their National Service or their time serving their country. Churches and community centres organise lunch clubs for retired people. 

There is much more about cooking and eating in  Carers and Caring: The One-Stop Guide: How to care for older relatives and friends - with tips for managing finances and accessing the right support  available from all good bookshops from May 2022.

Three hints:

1.     Safety first

2.     Not cooking is OK – eat like a picnic

3.     Going out for food is good, and so is home delivery