Why you MUST visit frail older people in hospital
Important to visit older people in hospital
Families can help when there are shortages of nurses
Helpful ideas when visiting a relative in hospital
Visiting is vital
In “Dementia the One Stop Guide” I said in 2015 that it is a good idea NOT to leave your frail older relative in hospital alone if you can help it. They don’t need you to provide nursing for them but there are many smaller things that can go wrong, including falls, poor nutrition, and delirium caused by boredom, pain and fear. I know you can’t be there for a lot of the time, but if more people spent more time with their older relatives during hospital admissions it would make a lot of sense. If you’ve got no older relative and you’re looking for a volunteering opportunity this is it.
Whenever my mum is admitted to hospital, I take days off work and go to be with her if humanly possible. I learned from my experience with my uncle. He fell in hospital and had to go to a care home after and it cost a fortune, including selling his house. I am sure that he just got confused and had problems finding the toilet in time, and fell over in his haste. We might have prevented that.
Maximum visiting and support is a really good idea
At the time I was heavily criticised for implying that families should make up for shortages in the health system, but what should we do? We know there is a world shortage of nurses so you can’t get them. We know there is an ageing population. We know that health services struggle to keep up with the demand. We know that families and local authorities don’t have enough money to take people swiftly from hospital to care homes when medical treatment has stopped. If it is your own family and there are enough family and friends to make it possible, maximum visiting and support is a really good idea. Offer to do it for your neighbour or friend has someone in hospital.
I like to be there to help my dad take his medication. He is slow and he holds the nurses up. I’m going to have to do it at home, but why not here?
Even then the problem was as much hospitals discouraging visiting. I had the personal experience of a hand in my face telling me I was ten minutes early for visiting. Nobody minds making themselves scarce when there is an emergency going on, but the rest of the time we should all be glad to see lots of visitors. Things are getting so much better. Open visiting is being encouraged everywhere. But does everyone feel comfortable knowing what they are and are not allowed to do when visiting? Do you just sit there, eyeing the grapes?
Here are some ideas for visiting frail people in hospital
Take the person for a walk
Encourage them to take fluids
Take them to the toilet
Listen to them
Bring your tablet and show them how their garden is doing, or the latest performance of the grandchild with their musical instrument or short video messages from people who can’t visit
Read the paper to them
Help them to enjoy their food
Just sit.
Just sitting with someone is quite a skill. If they are sleeping fitfully and when they open their eyes they see you there, how comforting is that? Take a book, some work, knitting…. anything. And have a rest yourself.
If you’ve got any more ideas, let me know, and we’ll put them in the next edition of the guide which will come out summer 2020.
If you would like more information, you can buy my book Dementia, the One Stop Guide or Care Homes: When, Why and How to Choose a Care Home. I am available for consultancy for families or organisations. And if you have any further queries or questions, or suggestions for something you’d like to see me write on, please contact me via the Contact Page
See my new course on Dementia the One Stop Guide on Policy Hub here
